Everybody has dreams and especially when you are really young, we aspire to be things that we dream. But I dreamt of only simple things in life. I dreamt about him. For me everything else was secondary. Finally after tolling hard for almost one year, I got Visa for US but i wasn't happy at all. I wish i never applied, I wish never even thought about going abroad. But, now there is no turning back.
Why do we all young people have to go abroad? Then I take a closer look at Nepal. It's true Nepal cannot provide lots of things we young people want. Not even the very basic. I still didn't know if I wanted to go when the sole reason I was leaving my country, my family and everything I held so dear was not going to be with me. His Visa had been declined twice and he wasn't going to try again this year.
I feel so trapped, I have only one week left. My flight is next week. Right now, I feel like I have only one week left to live. What am I going to do alone there? These are the thoughts currently running in my head.
I was so young and so naive. Honestly, I had no clue what life had in store for me. Two months ago I thought I had everything about life figured out. I take a look at my watch and it is 2 pm. I still am not able to sleep.
I wanted to call him but I knew it wasn't right time to do so. I really wanted to show him that I was a strong girl and I could wait for him. All this time I was fighting with my family, telling them I am strong enough and I will be Okie and now I have to deal with reality. Oh if only he was with me, I would have care less about everything else.
In these last few days I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. I didn't knew when I was going to see him again. Uncertainty is really painful, not knowing when or if ever again.
I really hated long distance relationship. I always used to make comments that it rarely works and here I am. I never agreed to this. But, what choice did I have? He was the only reason that I was even able to deal with all that stress. He said I will be fine and he will be applying for the next term and I believed in him.