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number
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Posted on 09-03-06 5:56
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I am very serious here. I am not faking or making anything. I have been in relationship with a nice nepali girl for long time. Its been more than couple of years. we were totally devoted and committed to each other. we both are educated and mature. we even talked with our parents about each other and they were also very happy for both of us as we are from same caste too. I will not write here how much i loved her and still do and what i did for her and everything. To make this story short, I just want to say this, i always gave her love, respected her, encouraged her, treated her as my best friend, my girl friend and my wife. we have spend time together as well, meaning cooking, grocery shopping, going out, washing dishes, and so many things. I believe that she also loved me a lot. she took teej ko brata for me, prayed for my success, asked me to meet her parents and asked me to talk about marriage and i did that as well. Everythign was so perfect in my life. My wonderful life suddenly changed few months ago when I learnt that my beloved girl is going out with some other guy. she cheated me. When i found out about this, i requested her to come back and asked her why she did this to me. she had no answer for that and she jsut tried to get away from me. since i had known her family and frined well, I called them to know if they know about anything related to this. Noone knew at that time. but irony is, she thought that i told everyone that she is cheating on me and dating some guy, but that was not the case. i never told anyone about that at that time. why would i do that when i treated her as my wife. This incident might have irritated her and she became closer with other guy and had physical relationship as well. I guess she did not think about anything at that time. she did not think about consequences. After I knew she is cheating on me, i could not control myself and because of this I screwed up my semester. I screwed up so badly that I could not get over with this. That thing completely changed my career and I am no where now. I am struggling just to save my status. I am not explaining everything here but i went through a lot because of this. I am totally depressed and thought about so many bad things. Many bad things started to came in my mind. I tried to forget her but could not do so. I still love her very much and I want her back. she knows this very well. we still talk to each other. Now she is saying that she just want to be friend with me and she does nt want to talk about love and marriage now. she does nt deny that she still love me and care about me. I dont know if she gonna come back to me or not. she has accepted her fault and she knows that she destroyed my life while whatever she is doing now is because of me. I did so much for her and she knows this. she sometime says, she broke the promise she has given to me and slept with someone else so she can not come back to me. But i told her that please forget about that and just come back to me. I told her that do not compare my love and respect and our long relationship with one sex. I also want to say you one thing that we too slept together as well. For me, I really love her and want her back but i dont know what she is thinking. I still dont understand that is it because of guiltyness that she is hesitating to come back because she cheated on me or she really wants to go away from me. if she wants to go away from me, why she is still talking to me? I told her that i can not be friend with her. I told her that I can either be her husband/bf or no one. i can forgive her if she come back to me and say sorry but if she tries to be just friend with me, then i will say she used me and threw in trash. I am expecting some comments from girls/women here. is it possible for a girl to come back after all this. I mean she had a good relationship with a nice guy and she cheated him even though he loved her so much and later he found out about this. she also slept with new guy. however the pld guy ( me) still wants her and love her as much as he used to. she knows that he loves her a lot. This is really killing me and i am really depressed. I want her back. I dont know how it gonna happen but i want this to happen. what should I do now?
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redstone
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Posted on 09-05-06 10:14
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He's asking for advice, i bet he is thinking fu*k that bit*h and i have to move on with my life. Easier said than done. Number, you will feel suffocated, depressed, hurt, and what not for few weeks, months, depending on how long your relationship was. i bet it was long, since you guys talked about marriage and such. So the pain is going to follow you for a while. Few steps you can take to heal quickly or easily... Keep busy. Hang out with your friends more. Go out more. More you stay alone, more you have time to think why the girl left you. And more depressed you get. With friends, hang out, go to bars and clubs. Most of us here have gone through almost the same situation. So don't feel that you are the only one in this world. And look what ochinmutua said.."On a good note, you will get to see and play with atleast one more Pwu-Tang in life." Eminem said "But i know one thing though, bi*ches they come they go, saturday thru sunday monday, monday thru sunday..." :P there are many girls out there. maybe you're not ready for one yet...but take time, dont find a chick that you might use her to bounce back to real world from your painful one. you will be fine!
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sajhauser
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Posted on 09-05-06 10:18
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really uncle sidster? :P Number, okay let me rephrase what i was trying to say to you. you think and other people think that you are blindly in love with the girl. But love is actually not blind. If you perform psychological disorder test, then you're bound to find out a number of disorders you might have. So i'd suggest you to first do some personality disorder test and then work on becoming a normal person. you will be able to get out of the trouble you're currently in on your own. here is the link for your convenience: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv om shanti...
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ImI
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Posted on 09-05-06 10:32
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PLEASEEEEEEE STOP YOUR NONSENSE SAJAHUSER..POOR CHAP IS SO SAD ..ARE u CALLING HIM MAD!!! number bro..listen to redstone: Keep busy. Hang out with your friends more. Go out more. More you stay alone, more you have time to think why the girl left you. And more depressed you get. With friends, hang out, go to bars and clubs. +play videogames .hmmm..buy Xbox +go play basketball +read good novels +watch comedy movies +go eat at red lobster So many things that will make any guy happy beside woman.
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sidster
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Posted on 09-05-06 10:47
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yea...she could have taken the flower with her but u still got ur hand with u ...he he...just a cheap humor. Nothing serious hai feri...
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sajhauser
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Posted on 09-05-06 10:49
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okay number, it's your choice to take my suggestion if the guys suggestion don't work :D....i'm not a psychiatrist but have studied the types of disorders to make observation. everyone has some kind of minor disorders. i know that ImI has some major ones :P
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ImI
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Posted on 09-05-06 10:52
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fuser, who are you to make such claim calling other people psycho???fuser.. infact you admit you have major disorder and you are proving it here .. go take you medicine and sleep ..good nite:)
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sidster
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Posted on 09-05-06 10:54
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women psychology hazaar wota zibro bhayeko sesh naag le ta byakhya garna sakdaina bhane mori dui zibre sajha le k saklin...he he
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sajhauser
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Posted on 09-05-06 10:57
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be glad ImI, that I called you psycho :P, or else i'd call you a bad person. sidster :P
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ImI
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Posted on 09-05-06 11:02
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You are not only calling me psycho you are claiming people like "number " are psycho..you said people like him who loved someone are psycho.. so..i don't have words to describe your intellectual capacity, compassion and humanity..you are seriously not from this planet..:P get ready to fly to mars...i guess you have finished smoking:) ya thanks for not calling me bad person..i am so grateful if you had said i am bad person i would have cried ..hehehe...are u happy now psycho:P
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sajhauser
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Posted on 09-05-06 11:12
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yes number might be suffering from obsessive disorder....or something like that....what's wrong in trying to help out in some proven way? what's the use of the education that we get? i don't mind calling myself a psycho...yes i might be for responding for imi...but imi is such a dangerous case :D..i have taken the personality disorder test and i am a normal person now:D...okay i won't deny that i had some disorder about a yr ago...but people change with time...and so do their thoughts.
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ImI
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Posted on 09-05-06 11:20
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Oh i see .. you were one time coming from mental institution ..hehehe...once a crack head always a crack head..you don't mind calling yourself psycho cause you are..hehehe Number bro don't listen to fuser crap - obsessive disorder..these are all crap..human beings go thru these phases and time will heal everything. Time can heal everything just not fuser's lose screws of her head.She needs engineers like me to screw her head..hehehe:P
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brain_at_work
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Posted on 09-06-06 10:04
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Where is this going? This is going no where. You are stuck man. You are stuck fighting with your ego. You say you love her. But you don't. You just hate her because she dumped you. You say you want her back but why do you want her back? It's not because you love her. It's because you want to prove to her that you are so great that you are can forgive her. Come on face it. She won't come back to you. She doesn't want to feel guilty everytime she looks at you. She doesn't feel she did anything wrong. Just let it go off your head. She is not an angel neither are you. Just be a good human being, don't try to be something you are not. If you really loved her you wouldn't be writing all these here. You probably already told her that you wrote this here. She has paid the price. The other guy probably left her already. If you really want this to go somewhere, get on with your life. Do well. Give yourself sometime. Find a nice girl and marry her. Make your parents happy. Live your life... Years from now when you meet her again you won't even feel anything for her. You won't regret you loved her so much. Take this as a lesson not to do the same to someone else what she did to you. If you really think you can love someone so much, give it to someone who deserves it. Grow up.
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bornfree
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Posted on 09-06-06 10:15
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if you a man get a gun and shoot at her. yeah i mean it. and every bullet at her. smash her head and take out her brain. shoot at her heart fill with poison and lies
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number
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Posted on 09-06-06 10:27
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brain at work; yes i do love her. you are wrong brain I have not told her that I wrote my story here and I will never do that. I wrote here because i wanted to know how feeling will react with this and what is right and what is wrong. the other guy has not left her as well. actually she is handeling both of us. he says she used her and i asked her to come back and forget what happened in last couple of months. she is confused. at least that is what she told me and she also told me that she does nt want to talk about this for at least sometime, neither with me nor with other guy. her problem is most of the people who know her and me know about us and our parents knows about our relationship as well. so its hard for her to make decision now. she might have thought that i would not find out but i did and everything got messed up. what she told me is she wanted sometime with other guy as well to decide who to choose but since i found out before she told me, everything got out of her hand. she did not get time to convince others and now everyone who knows her does not have respect for her as much as they used to have. but i dont understand why she has hard time coming back to me when this move of her can make almost everyone happy. Its not abotu ego my friend, its about commitment and trust. I do not want to tell my parents what happened to me when they know about me and her and were excited about our marriage.
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MillionDollars
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Posted on 09-06-06 10:29
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i know it's easier said than done but you just gotta move on. Let your ex remain as a pleasant memory but I seriously don't think things work out after such an episode... And just don't do anything stupid.. Dude, trust me... when you look back on this few years from now, you will only laugh at it...
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BathroomCoffee
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Posted on 09-06-06 11:12
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Two Lines:- If you love somebody Set them freee You cannot make someone love you. Like Nature Vs Nurture. As far as suicide is concerned... he he THROWING YOUR LIFE AWAY FOR SOME GAL ? hmmm.. you think is really worth it ? ASK YOURSELF THAT QUESTION !!! Analyze your life so far, you really think bringing the curtain down on your life will solve your problem ? Suicide is an option for people that run away from their options rather than dealing with it. Sure if you want to cut and run and become a coward then go ahead take your own life. But if you look at the brighter side....you have the rest of your life ahead of you. MAKE IT OR BREAK IT, ITS UP TO YOU. Who Knows you might fall in love again with another person, or win a lotterey and become a millionaire.
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BathroomCoffee
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Posted on 09-06-06 11:23
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(TYPO)Suicide is an option for people that run away from their problems rather than dealing with it. Its an easy way out.. not to have to deal with all the luggage that comes with the issues and problems of LIFE. I am not calling you names but giving you an outside veiw about your problem. Ultimately YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE NOBODY ELSE .....MAKE IT OR BREAK IT ITS UP TO YOU.
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number
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Posted on 09-06-06 11:36
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No to suicide. I am not that coward. I am definitely depressed and bad feelings do come in my mind. But i will never do suicide. I am a responsible son. I have to look at my parents dream as well.
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Don.Corleone
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Posted on 09-06-06 12:31
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If I were you: (in chronological order) 1) I would shut the door and cry for as long as I want or get tired. 2) I would join a gym to keep myself busy and more fit. 3) I would NOT listen to sentimental songs, rather I would listen to loud numbers, heavy metal or hip-hop and R&B. 4) I would buy a pair of boxing gloves and a punching bag and practice giving punches (20-30 ) times a day. 5) I would delete her name from the phone list, diaries/ PDA. I would delete all her emails. Anything associated with her would go out of my house/office/car. 6) I would socialize, make new friends, hang out with them and give myself a chance for new relationships. Life is a journey. Enjoy the good part of it and get over the bad experiences. The fate of life can NOT be determined by ONE freaking relationship. There are women aplenty. You just have to keep your eyes and ears open. Hope that helps you a bit! Good Luck!
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shwetaa
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Posted on 09-06-06 1:24
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number, you are so confused.The thing bothering you is that "she" was the one who left you.Isn`t it? Come`on ,start a new life!
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