I am very serious here. I am not faking or making anything. I have been in relationship with a nice nepali girl for long time. Its been more than couple of years. we were totally devoted and committed to each other. we both are educated and mature. we even talked with our parents about each other and they were also very happy for both of us as we are from same caste too.

I will not write here how much i loved her and still do and what i did for her and everything. To make this story short, I just want to say this, i always gave her love, respected her, encouraged her, treated her as my best friend, my girl friend and my wife. we have spend time together as well, meaning cooking, grocery shopping, going out, washing dishes, and so many things.

I believe that she also loved me a lot. she took teej ko brata for me, prayed for my success, asked me to meet her parents and asked me to talk about marriage and i did that as well. Everythign was so perfect in my life.

My wonderful life suddenly changed few months ago when I learnt that my beloved girl is going out with some other guy. she cheated me. When i found out about this, i requested her to come back and asked her why she did this to me. she had no answer for that and she jsut tried to get away from me. since i had known her family and frined well, I called them to know if they know about anything related to this. Noone knew at that time. but irony is, she thought that i told everyone that she is cheating on me and dating some guy, but that was not the case. i never told anyone about that at that time. why would i do that when i treated her as my wife. This incident might have irritated her and she became closer with other guy and had physical relationship as well. I guess she did not think about anything at that time. she did not think about consequences.

After I knew she is cheating on me, i could not control myself and because of this I screwed up my semester. I screwed up so badly that I could not get over with this. That thing completely changed my career and I am no where now. I am struggling just to save my status. I am not explaining everything here but i went through a lot because of this. I am totally depressed and thought about so many bad things. Many bad things started to came in my mind.

I tried to forget her but could not do so. I still love her very much and I want her back. she knows this very well. we still talk to each other. Now she is saying that she just want to be friend with me and she does nt want to talk about love and marriage now. she does nt deny that she still love me and care about me. I dont know if she gonna come back to me or not. she has accepted her fault and she knows that she destroyed my life while whatever she is doing now is because of me. I did so much for her and she knows this.
she sometime says, she broke the promise she has given to me and slept with someone else so she can not come back to me. But i told her that please forget about that and just come back to me. I told her that do not compare my love and respect and our long relationship with one sex. I also want to say you one thing that we too slept together as well. For me, I really love her and want her back but i dont know what she is thinking. I still dont understand that is it because of guiltyness that she is hesitating to come back because she cheated on me or she really wants to go away from me. if she wants to go away from me, why she is still talking to me? I told her that i can not be friend with her. I told her that I can either be her husband/bf or no one. i can forgive her if she come back to me and say sorry but if she tries to be just friend with me, then i will say she used me and threw in trash.

I am expecting some comments from girls/women here. is it possible for a girl to come back after all this. I mean she had a good relationship with a nice guy and she cheated him even though he loved her so much and later he found out about this. she also slept with new guy. however the pld guy ( me) still wants her and love her as much as he used to. she knows that he loves her a lot. This is really killing me and i am really depressed. I want her back. I dont know how it gonna happen but i want this to happen. what should I do now?

Number
whatever your are trying to find out is broad and i dare to say there is no rationality in such attempt for simple person .It is irrelvant at this point of time and always ,unless you are doing a research on human psychology.A human behaviour would be the answer.Is her cheating jutifiable ..NO..but do people do that ..YES...Not only girls guys also do this sort of stuff.
Move on ! my fren that is the best solution we are in materalistic world.

This is one of my fav song of all time.Dedicated to you:)

नम्बर ब्रो,
के हुन्छ भने नि, इगो भन्ने कुरो हुन्छ नि, thats the reason in every case. What I think is, if she comes back to you, she will and you will remember the incident all life.. you cannot get away with it..and in this case, its her fault..whatsoever might be her character, she would feel guilty inside and that guilty-ness gets to the limit when she sees you..and you will always look down upon her for what she has done....thats natural..u cant stop it.. so, for her and your good, the relationship should end. I think thats what she might want too.. but she cant say that for reasons Sid explained.

Number: I agree with all the advise people have offered you so far. I myself went through something similar at one time in my life. One of the things that helped me get over it and move on was sharing my story with others and talking to people who had similar experiences. I was suprised to find how many people there were (both men and women) whose partners had cheated on them and that I was in no way a guy with a unique problem . When other people shared their stories with me, I realized that cheating is a pretty common problem and life just has to move on.

In my case too, she knew my family and I knew hers. We had a lot of common friends as well. When I found out about her cheating, I was hurt and taken aback. I felt she disgraced me and my parents. I felt ashamed and humiliated in a way that I had never felt before in my life. I confronted her one day and we decided, in the end, to patch up and give things another try. Unfortunately, her cheating did not stop there. With the benefit of hindsight, I feel she mistook, either knowingly or unknowingly, my kindness for weakness. She had another affair a year later before we finally broke up.

I can totally relate to the pain you are feeling because it's horrible to find out your partner has slept with someone else. It deals a big blow on your pride. A lot of men, myself included at that time, instinctively look at this from a purely sexual perspective: was I not able to sexually satisfy her is one of the first things many of us ask ourselves.

In reality, what I found out from talking to others, was a lot of the women who cheated, were quite happy sexually with their partners but were unhappy for other reasons. In my case, she thought I did not give enough time to her and that I could not understand her and the family problems her parents were facing. What often happens, it seems, is such women seek someone who understands them completely. If they find someone who they think understands them, many women who tend to be very vulnerable when they have reached this stage , will often not resist sexual advances made by the other person because they are afraid of losing that person. From the conversations I had with some of the other folks then, this goes back to the age old issue about women giving sex to get love and men giving love to get sex.

I am personally of the opinion that one strike and you are out. No matter who you are, you do not deserve a partner who has cheated on you. Even if she comes back, chances are the memories will haunt you for a long time. As men, we are pretty unforgiving creatures, and while it is easy to say I forgive you, it is often tough to follow that up in action.

My life has turned out to be so much better today as a result of leaving her. I am doing well career-wise, financially and socially. I have made many new friends - some of whom are really great people. I don't mean to show off, and want to put this as delicately as I can, but today I know of more than one woman who is attracted to me. :) It's nice being an eligible bachelor again. Had my ex not cheated on me, I would have missed out on all the fun I am having now.

I have now forgiven her from my heart. But in order for me to do this , I had to leave her. If we had been together I don't think I could have forgiven her and I would have lived with the humiliation for the rest of my life. It has turned out to be a good decision so far. I turned down a marriage proposal a few months ago and am mingling around as much as singlehood allows me to ...he he. Some of my other friends whose partners cheated on them have very similar stories to tell.

A few departing thoughts:

(1) It is not your fault: Even if you did things wrong, there is no crime for which for which you deserve to be punished by cheating.

(2) Dont be ashamed: There are too many people out there who have things to hide about their spouses and those who mock you often do it to hide their own insecurities and fears.

(3) Regain your self-confidence: Get laid, pick up a new hobby, join a gym, go scuba diving, do something that will make you feel good about yourself. Pamper yourself if you can.

(4) Get help: See if there is a support group around. In my case, the internet was a great place to find support. Sites focused on helping people move on, chat sites, discussion forums etc where I could talk anonymously with others all helped.

(5) Time heals: It will always be difficult in the begining but it's human nature to try and be happy. Happiness is bound to come knocking on your door as long as you don't shut yourself out from the world - so keep your eyes and ears open for it .

I hope this helps a bit and I have not said anything to make you feel worse. I am not trying to play Freud here and I decided to reply to this thread only because I thought you had the courage to grief publicly. As men, and I am guilty of this myself, we often tend to hide our pain and shame and I admire your courage for speaking out. I think you have already taken the all important first step of speaking out and I wish you the best of luck.

"women giving sex to get love and men giving love to get sex. "- quote of the day captain

Trust me time heals even the worst pains.And giving up her completely as Captain did is the best thing you can do for yourself.Completely means NO HATE NO LOVE NO SIGNIFICANCE AT ALL.

Its not can a girl do it? Well I have seen many guys cheating like that as well..Its the human nature I guess. People go crazy!May be she lost interest on you thats why she did that to you...But you have to understand that LIFE GOES ON..SCREWING YOUR LIFE is not gonna prove anything .. It will rather show her that you are WEAK. Even though when comes back to you..you won't be happy...
Get Over it.Too many fish in the sea..

POWERgal re,
powerade justo extra energy dine ho (O:

ani PowerGal.. how do you empower ppl like me

thank you everybody for your input. she is dearest for me and its been really hard for me. i just want to hear from her either i love you and i want to be together with you or i am over with you and i dont want you anymore. she is not saying either.

Tell her to read this thread.

Number dude,
I would really consider Captain's suggestion and move on!

Well,i am completely agree with Captain Haddock
"even if she comes back, chances are the memories will haunt you for a long time.."
You are still waiting for her?
Gudluck!

Typo:

Well,i completely agree with Captain Haddock
"even if she comes back, chances are the memories will haunt you for a long time.."
You are still waiting for her?
Gudluck!

tell her to jump down from high rise buildings then only you accpet her.
if she do it then she love you. if she dosen't it only a hoax.

GOMO should be your mantra.
Get Over it; Move On.

Thapap,

Yes you got it right.. I can give energy like Powerade.. How did you know that ? P:P..
Empower PPl Like you??Hellowwww!!!Could you enlighten me a bit over here???
Anywayz, keep rocking!!

LIFE GOES ON...SO MOVE ON.....

COMMON SHE FU$KED ANOTHER GUY WHEN YOU WERE WITH HER.... YOU THINK SHE WON'T AGAIN...

MOVE ON..........YOU WILL HAVE MUCH BETTER THINGS IN FUTURE....

EASIER SAID THEN DONE...BUT WHAT DO U DO......THIS THEORY HAD TO BE APPLIED....

OKay I dont know if you believe this or not but she just does not love you. If she tells you that she still loves you then she is saying this because she does not want you to think that she does not. Maybe she thought that she liked you and all that before and kept fasts and all for you. Later she decided to take the easy way out and cheat on you and hurt you.

If you are waiting for her to come back then I think it would be your stupidity. Lets say you guys even get back together... will you ever forget how she cheated on you and will you ever trust her? She hurt you and your ego so you want her back at any cost. It would be immensely hard to let go of her BUT the best thing to do is try to forget her. What I think you should do is involve yourself in your studies and other stuff so that you dont have any time to think about her.

Time is the greatest healer. Stop contacts with her and if you cant do that then at least try to contact her in a minimal. You deserve something better. She was either blinded by something or simply did not care about you. Do stuff to divert your mind and you should be good... All the best!

PowerGal,
huh???
i was asking, hajur le hami justa tapaswi haru lai energy kasari praadan garisinchha bhaneko kya (O:

how would you empower us with your energy (O:

I dont understand why it is so hard for her to tell me I dont love you anymore, i have lost interest on you, i am over with you and so on. why she still calls me and try to show some sympathy? why she tries to show me that she cares for me.

I dont know now if she ever loved me or not, but she did took fasting for me in teej, she introduced me with her family and friends as future husband and she asked me to meet her parents and talk about marriage. if this was not love then she just used me because i have done a lot for her. what she did is unforgivable but i love this girl so much that she is my both weak and strong point and i believe if she comes back my life will be like before and i will be happy. at this point this is what i think. you guys believe me or no, but i dont think much about she slept with other guy rather i think much about why she did to me and how could she do this to me. was I in dreams? i really can not believe this from a matured and educated girl like her. on the otherhand, she is very helpful to all of her friends. I guess two sides of a coin, one side is so brighter and other is so dark which only I saw.
and i dont know why a guy can do this to someone else's girlfriend. well we respect other's wife and girlfriend, dont we? now what i hear is this guy is saying her like you just used me. i was like what the hell, he came in between us just couple of months ago and he feels like used meaning she used him for sex purpose only. may be, i dont know.