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shirish
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Posted on 12-10-07 6:54
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निर्माणाधीन गजल ---
नआउने तिमीलाई लाख बोलाउन मन लागेन !
आंगनमा रातभरि पर्खेको जून छुन मन लागेन !
जांदै नजाने भनेका कति पक्की रङ्ग पखालें
तिम्रो स्पर्श पाएका यी हात धुन मन लागेन !
नंया तिम्रा ज्यादती नंया तरीका सिकेर सहें
तिम्रो आनन्दमा घात होला भनि रुन मन लागेन !
तिमी आउने र म जाने साईत जुरेछ एकै बेला
बिछोडको समय झल्को ल्याउने सगुन मन लागेन !
कल्पनामा अनुभव गर्न सक्छन् तिम्रो सुबास
म फुले पनि आंखै नलाग्ने फूल हुन मन लागेन !
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Nepe
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Posted on 12-10-07 7:35
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जांदै नजाने भनेका कति पक्की रङ्ग पखालें
तिम्रो स्पर्श पाएका यी हात धुन मन लागेन !
Muuuuah ! What a lovely sher !
मीठो त छदैछ, यो शेरले मलाई एउटा सुदूर चिन्तनमा पुर्यायो । अक्सर प्यारा व्यक्ति भन्दा प्यारा व्यक्तिको चिनो (symbol) बढी प्यारा हुन्छन्, किन होला भन्ने सोचमा । मैले जे ठम्याएँ त्यो यहाँ लेख्नु भन्दा कुनै दिन त्यसको एउटा शेर बनाएर सुनाम्ला ।
Nepe
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Birkhe_Maila
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Posted on 12-11-07 10:22
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जांदै नजाने भनेका कति पक्की रङ्ग पखालें
तिम्रो स्पर्श पाएका यी हात धुन मन लागेन !
वाह!!
थ्रेडको नाम नै 'मन नलागेको गजल' किन राखेको नि?
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shirish
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Posted on 12-11-07 5:43
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धन्यबाद नेपे र बिर्खे
म बास्तबमा "मन लागेन" रदीफ हालेर तीन वटा छुट्टा छुट्टै गजल लेख्ने सुरमा छु क्या ! त्यो चित्त बुझ्दो भा'छैन पछि मिलाउला है !
यो चाहि प्रिभ्यू -
रात परे पछि पृथ्बीको गति सुस्त भैदिए हुन्थ्यो
दिनको प्रभाबमा तारा झैं बिलाउन मन लागेन !
गुंडका बचेरा भोकले चिर्बिर गर्न नसक्दा होलान्
बन्दूकले ताक्दा पनि पखेटा बिसाउन मन लागेन !
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kancha01
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Posted on 12-11-07 9:07
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gajal ramro laagyo shirish ji..
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SadhanaSharma
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Posted on 12-14-07 11:04
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I also want to add something. Although my childish writing may not be comparable to your experienced styles.
तिम्रो यादमा सँधै सँधै सिरानी म भिजाउँथें
तर किन आज मलाई रुन मनलागेन
तिम्रो स्पर्श पाएर नधोइ राखेका यी हात
आज किन आफैंलाई छुन मनलागेन ।
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sijupanta
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Posted on 12-14-07 11:51
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Bash!!!!!!!!what a nice line
तिम्रो स्पर्श पाएर नधोइ राखेका यी हात
आज किन आफैंलाई छुन मनलागेन ।
wah ...... keep on writing sadhana ji!
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aparichit
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Posted on 12-14-07 12:31
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सधैं म who cares, who cares भन्थे तर आज सबै कुरा एक एक गरी केलाउदैछु।
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SadhanaSharma
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Posted on 12-14-07 1:10
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Siju ji,
Thanks a lot. 
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shirish
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Posted on 12-14-07 9:47
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गजब छ साधना जी
तपाईको खुबी छ भनेर मैले जमाना मै भनेको हुं - अरु साधना गर्नु होला !
बरु यो सारै general भयो change गर्ने हो की ?
तिम्रो यादमा सँधै सँधै सिरानी म भिजाउँथें
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sumedhu
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Posted on 12-15-07 8:35
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आँसुले धोएरै अन्धकारलाई बिहान बनाउँथेँ तर किन मलाई आज रुन मन लागेन
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remote attacker
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Posted on 12-15-07 1:15
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thakinna rahecha kahele ukali chadda pani
perati ma ta o-ho chiplera ladda pani
cheers...
Last edited: 15-Dec-07 01:16 PM
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SadhanaSharma
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Posted on 12-16-07 10:00
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Thanks a lot Sirish Dai, Let me try another one:
तिम्रो साथ पाउन भनी देवीदेउता भाक्ने गर्थें
आज तिम्रो जीवनसाथी हुन मनलागेन
तिम्रो स्पर्श पाएर नधोइ राखेका यी हात
आज किन आफैंलाई छुन मनलागेन ।
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Brain Malfunction
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Posted on 12-16-07 12:14
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...
हरदिन hi5 मा तिम्रो प्रोफाइल हेर्नुपर्ने यो मनलाई
आज किन कम्प्युटर छुन मन लगेन ?
फ्री कल टाईम मा घन्ट्टौ फोन गर्नु पर्ने मलाई
आज किन तिम्रो एस् एम एस् पढ्न मन लागेन ??
;)
Last edited: 16-Dec-07 12:17 PM
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shirish
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Posted on 12-17-07 3:53
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वारिकाले ढकेले,पारिकाले आउलास् भन्दै छेके
दुबैतिरको सीमान्तमा घर बनाउन मन लागेन Can some one suggest me nepali translation for "no mans land"
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Birkhe_Maila
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Posted on 12-17-07 4:00
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खै शिरीष गुरु, ऐलानी जग्गा भन्ने गरेको सुनेको हो मैले कति मिल्छ थाहा छैन!
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pjna007
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Posted on 12-17-07 5:01
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nice!  , what is simanta bytheway?
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crazy_love
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Posted on 12-17-07 5:18
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malai chahi jagjitko yo gajal yaad aayo,
tere khat mai jalaau kaise,
tere khushbume mai likhe hue khat mai jalaau kaise?
like ur gajal shirish ji
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Poonte
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Posted on 12-17-07 5:39
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दशगजा? (no man's land)
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Nepe
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Posted on 12-17-07 5:46
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"दशगजा" वास्तवमा एकदम मौलिक नेपाली बिम्ब हुनेछ, प्रयोग गर्दा हुन्छ । सिरियस्ली ।
अब नयाँ शब्दान्तर आविस्कारै गर्नु पर्ने हो भने म चाही "शुन्य साँध" भनम्ला ।
पुन्टेदा र सबैलाई जदौ है !
Nepe
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